war pigs on the wing...
when i was in junior high, i knew this guy named scott neil. he was the cool, rock and roll kid, longish hair, skinny, and vaguely reeked of pot and/or cigarettes. particularly impressive were the occassional necklace of hickies he would sport, courtesy of some talented girl he was seeing at the time. regardless, all the chickies were hot for scott. but i had known him long enough to know that he was pretty and all, but not the brightest bulb on the lamp (apologies to scott if he went on to become a brain surgeon or rocket scientist or banking magnet or something). he was what we later referred to as a 'freak' in high school, of the 'stoner' class.

he and i had a class together with mrs. simpson. i can't remember what the class was, maybe a drama or speech class? mrs. simpson's claim to fame was that she taught the guy who played "monroe" on the ted knight show, in high school out in west texas somewhere. am not sure *what* she taught him... english? speech? drama? make-up application? who knows, but she brought him up often. i guess she was hoping to have another "monroe" to someday add to her resume.

so mrs. simpson had given us some kind of major writing assignment. i don't recall what it was exactly other than i know i went home and fretted over it for weeks before coming up with something that was probably extremely well written, in a kind of 12 year old angsty kind of way, and i probably got a good grade on it, because she liked me and i was a kid who overachieved all the time. as she was handing back our papers, she stopped and said that she was particularly impressed with some of the writing and wanted the authors to stand up and read their papers. to my nerdy horror, scott neil was among those asked to read. i was *there* when he "wrote" the paper. i knew he had turned in lyrics to some pink floyd or black sabbath song, and i figured she would bust him, give him an f and that would be it.

but no.

he stood up and read the lyrics, giggling, while more than half of the class stiffled laughter, and poor mrs. simpson, who i was HOPING was going to pull a gotcha on him, stood up at her podium and appeared to be fighting back tears. she bought it as his, hook, line and sinker. when he was done, the class cheered, and she gave him a hug. i was mortified.

this all came back to me the other afternoon while i was driving around and cake's cover of "war pigs" came on the radio. i sat in my car and cackled maniacly as one of the most dark protest songs ever recorded blared out of my speakers.

thank you, scott neil, wherever you are.